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Home » Sexuality in Thailand – Lolito

Sexuality in Thailand – Lolito

May 20, 2011 By Laura Dal Farra 9 Comments

 

sexuality in thailand

 

Standard swim gear for women out here in Buriram isn’t on par with the West, nor with the tourist areas of Thailand.  Country chicks tend to wear a t-shirt and shorts.  The community pool in the city has a regulation against this, so most girls wear full piece swimsuits.  Full piece swimsuits I couldn’t imagine wearing when I’m sixty.  Full piece swimsuits I couldn’t imagine wearing if I was sixty in 1960.  Bikinis seem to be out unless you’re a hooker with the Farang-of-the-week-you-picked-up-in-Pattaya-and-brought-back-to-meet-your-family-to-prove-you-really-do-love-him.  And even that’s rare.  They usually cover up too.

 

So, I’ve taken to wearing a mock turtleneck, a fully sleeved rashguard and a pair of bikini bottoms. I show less skin than the Thais.  I’ve done this for a few reasons:  1. to respect the culture I’m living in while not resembling a polyester table cloth,  2. to protect my skin and 3. as a deterrent against the screw face meanness thrown my way by a lot of Thai women and the sketchy leering scumbag jeers from some Thai men.

 

I enjoy my time at the pool and often attract crews of Thai kids.  This is normal.  So are the discussions about my ass.

 

Boys, girls, it doesn’t matter.  The onset of discussion is often the same.  Some of the most common:

 

“You have a big ass.”

 

“You’re not fat.  Why is your ass so big?”

 

“You have a small face and a big ass.”

 

“Is it normal for Farang women to have big asses?”

 

I’m writing this with a tape measure beside me.  My hips are currently a little over thirty-seven inches.  That places me at a North American size 5/6.

 

I pay no mind to this.  I realize most of these cats have never spoken to a Foreign (Farang) female before, perhaps never to a Farang at all. And the feel is never one of malice or judgment.  It just sort of is.

 

sexuality in thailand
The pool in Buriram

 

This was pretty much going on when I met a crew of twelve to fourteen year old Thai boys recently.  Didn’t think much of it.  I’d swim laps, they’d wait for me armed with questions, chase me down the side of the pool, laugh, joke, ask me to teach them how to swim…all pretty standard.

 

Then one of them caught me alone.  He was standing above me on the concrete.

 

He leaned in, “Have you ever had sex before?”

 

I told him I didn’t understand the question.

 

Instant reaction.

 

I’m not schooled in the Thai art of politely telling someone to Fuck Off.   Literally telling a Thai to Fuck Off seems to validate a ten Thai on one Farang beatdown.  So, at the time, I did what I’ve often seen Thais do.  Evade.  Evade.  Evade.  I also thought, ‘Wow, this kid has no idea how old I am’ and continued my laps.  The other kids came back.  I thought the moment had passed.

 

Eventually, he was waiting for me alone again.  Crouched in the shadow of a diving podium, his tiny wet body was curled low.  His voice a fevered whisper.

 

I had no idea what he was on about. He was too excited. I asked him to repeat the question.  And he did…….as he whipped down his lycra swimshorts and showed me the top of his penis.  He then proceeded to beat off.  Quickly.

 

“Have you ever seen a kid’s dick before?”

 

Not being prepared for this situation I shouted, “OOOiiiiiiii….I’m not interested” then swam away.  Half way down the Olympic sized pool I thought, ‘Did that just happen?’

 

There he was, waiting for me at the other end.

 

Again, fevered discourse I didn’t understand.  Partially due to the rate he was speaking at and partially, I believe, because he was talking street dirty to me.  They don’t teach you that in any Thai language course I’ve come across.  I’m starting to think they should.

 

Regardless, I picked up one thing he had said…he offered his services for 2,000 baht, approximately $65 USD.  The average Thai farmer out here makes approximately 150 baht a day.  Do the math.

 

I was still in some sort of shock.  Oftentimes, due to language barriers, I think…Nah, maybe I misunderstood.  They couldn’t have said THAT.  I answered in English before I turned to swim.

 

“No.”

 

His response carried no anger.  He simply asked,

 

“Why not?”

 

The tone reminiscent of one who has just offered what they think to be the chance of a lifetime and can’t remotely understand why you wouldn’t be down.

 

The denial in me crept up. This kid can’t be serious.

 

“Wait, maybe I didn’t understand you. What do you want?”

 

Confusion on his face.  A call from the other side of the pool.  A polite good-bye and off he ran.

 

sexuality in thailand
Podiums at the pool

 

Some people have asked why I didn’t tell the desk at the pool.  Language and culture.  I didn’t know the word for masturbate. Picturing myself up at the front trying to mime or draw what had happened provoked a few scenarios:

 

1.  the guy wouldn’t understand what I was on about,

2. he would think I was offering it to him (more bent things have happened here),

3. if he didn’t think I was offering it, the act may provoke him to ask for it anyhow, and

4. even if he did understand, my experience with the Thai way of dealing with such issues is generally to either  have a laugh at it or tell me it didn’t happen.  That I don’t understand Thai culture and he probably meant something else.

 

Evade. Evade. Evade.

 

And if I did get my point across and he wanted to know who it was?  I had little more than, “One of the black kids that just left”.  Which describes every boy in the pool.  Every day.  Light skinned Thais generally don’t swim here in Buriram.  They’re afraid of being black.  But I’ll save that subject for another time.

 

Thursday, March 3, 2011

 

Read the next memoir entry, Nupitals – Understanding Weddings In Buriram, here.

Read the last memoir, Tales Of The Zombie Hooker, here.

 

 

For Thailand solo travel and safety tips, in addition to Thailand information you won’t find in traditional tourist guides, please visit my post Tips For Women Traveling To Thailand.

 

 

Filed Under: Memoir, Thailand Tagged With: Buriram, Sex and Dating, Tales Of The Zombie Hooker, Women Traveling Alone

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About Laura Dal Farra

After a six month adventure training Muay Thai in Thailand in 2007, Laura Dal Farra returned to her native Canada, sold most of what she owned, and boarded a plane set for Bangkok alone. She spent the next 3.5 years training in traditional Muay Thai gyms, pushing her limits, and embracing the unknown. Realizing little was being written on the subject, she began to blog about it. Laura Dal Farra is the founder of Milk.Blitz.Street.Bomb.

Comments

  1. Rob says

    May 22, 2011 at 02:40

    that’s something I would never forget….

    Reply
  2. nopstar says

    May 26, 2011 at 10:37

    I was just trying to make polite conversation…

    Reply
  3. Chantal Ughi says

    May 27, 2011 at 01:29

    i love this story Laura…

    Reply
  4. Aoife says

    October 17, 2011 at 07:07

    Haha, Got told today I was slim and very fat the last time they saw me here.

    Reply
  5. JB says

    February 6, 2012 at 19:28

    I believe ‘Chuck-Wow’ is the word for masturbate.

    Reply
    • ldf says

      February 6, 2012 at 23:16

      thank u!

      Reply
  6. Mina says

    April 27, 2012 at 04:12

    Hilarious and shocking at the same time. At that point, I would have cussed him out. He’s a kid but should learn how to behave! It’s sad that some (even educated) Thais think all western girls are easy (but that was a kid! What was he thinking!). You really should learn some street Thai for those situations.

    Reply
  7. Alex says

    May 28, 2012 at 01:42

    jahk-wow is masturbate for future use! :p

    Reply
  8. Rob says

    October 29, 2015 at 02:34

    Fun essay, thanks.

    “And the feel is never one of malice or judgment. It just sort of is.” True dat, and they talk that way to each other, too. The lack of restraint one may find so delightful in Thailand at first is, like so many things that are delightful at first, one of the first things that starts to wear.

    I’m still trying to figure out how you understand so much of what people are saying but didn’t know how to say “chahk-wow.” Maybe I should be trying to figure out how it is I learned that so early- not exactly a vital expression, and one that, if English is any indication, is fairly easy to euphemize.

    Reply

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