The following was inspired by a recent comment by Alan Reid on Racism in Thailand: A Day in the Life of a White Woman in Buriram. Alan describes instances of discrimination he has encountered in The Land Of Smiles then concludes with: I try to smile and be friendly to the Thais everyday, however I have this bitterness and hatred built up inside, the same as you. This struck me deeply, not only out of empathy but also due to the fact that eleven weeks after leaving Thailand, what remains and what I continue to combat is negativity within. Negativity towards other people. Negativity towards myself. The forms of this corruption were not in my heart before leaving Canadian soil in … [Read more...]
Re-Entry Shock: Over Ten Weeks In
I had left for Asia, thus the commencement of my nomadic life in early 2009. In mid to late 2010 I returned to my native country of Canada to clear up some loose ends and finalize the selling of my condo in Toronto. As memory serves me, the transition was easy. I flew in, I hung out for approximately one month and I left elated. However, in August 2012, roughly ten weeks after I landed on North American soil, I'm writing you, feeling like a freak (in my parents' basement...which doesn't help matters). In a previous piece, Re-Entry Shock: Feeling Like A Foreigner In Your Native Country, I detailed my experience. What I didn't realize at the time was how long this … [Read more...]
Re-Entry Shock: Feeling Like A Foreigner In Your Native Country
The I'm-here-but-far-away fog is unsettling. It first began in southern California in unexpected ways. Kindness communicated in the form of direct eye contact and a strong smile rattled me. The combination was too bold. An afternoon barbeque filled with guests; one woman, bare shouldered, speaking, shouting, swearing, dominating, another in a bikini top and short shorts. People asking me innocent questions about my life in Thailand. I froze before I could respond. What is acceptable? What isn't? Why does it even matter? Currently, the Canadian city I spent, I believe approximately the first twenty-four years of my life in feels more alien to … [Read more...]
Western Mind, Eastern Mind And The Space In Between
Excerpt from an email sent to a friend..... "Please tell me delicious stories of Canadian life. I'll call it Canadiana and hold it close to my heart..... I've been out here long enough where I'm fucking up English words... i.e. on the TV I saw written in English (on Thai dubbed Bugs Bunny yesterday)..... BOX OFFICE..... Because there is no real transliteration for Thai here, meaning, there is no standard spelling/use of the Roman Alphabet so people spell words however the fuck they feel like it... I read BOX OFFICE as... BOX OF FICE... meaning BOX OF RICE? BOX OF ICE? What is this they speak of?.... Haven't quite lost my mind, … [Read more...]